Eugie Foster (eugie) wrote,
Eugie Foster

Biopsy on Wednesday: Formality Mostly

We’ve got an appointment this Wednesday to do a biopsy on the tumor, but the hopes I had that the PET scan results would turn out to be a false positive have been diminishing until they are essentially nil.

The swelling at the tumor site has noticeably increased in the short time since the PET scan, and even more telling, the pain from last year is back. It’s a very distinctive pain, unlike anything I’ve felt before all this. It’s unmistakable as anything else but a fast-growing mass pushing aside things in my head that really aren’t happy about being shoved aside. I’m back to taking daily painkillers, beginning to ramp up the doseages. And I remember why I was in such a hurry to begin chemotherapy, knowing it would be its own hell of sickness, weakness, and pain.

This thing growing in my head is aggressive. It’s scary-fast how quickly it has advanced already. Re-advanced. And now I just want to start knocking it back again, as soon as possible, before it takes back the hearing and breathing it stole from me back in September, before I lose any more ground to it. Even though I know that whatever our next treatment steps are going to be, they’ll be more brutal than what I’ve already gone through.

Originally published at You can comment here or there.

Tags: coping with cancer

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