Yesterday was a good day. Aside from a bit tired, felt the best I had in months: no pain, no sickness, engaged and focused at work. A memory of what being healthy–well, as healthy as my human suit gets–was like.
This morning, thought I was going to have another good day. Felt energetic and chipper, pain free. Went out with Matthew to run a couple errands even. But think I might have overdone it. We were only out for an hour or so, but by the time we got home I had a headache and started feeling sick. Now I am thoroughly miserable and hurting.
Have taken drugs. Many many drugs. If they are helping, then I don’t even want to contemplate how awful I’d feel without them. But honestly, it feels like they’re barely making a dent.
Went out with Matthew to run a couple errands even.
One of my most basic rules when in treatment is "never shotgun errands." Go out, do something, come home, rest, see how I feel.
It's annoying as hell, especially if you have even the most rudimentary sense of time and resource management (as I am sure you do), but it's an excellent way to protect yourself.
Sigh. When I was feeling good, it was so easy to forget how frail I guess I actually am. Yeah, I've learned the necessity of pacing myself the hard way. I'm still suffering the repercussions of yesterday's overdoing it. So frustrating!