Eugie Foster (eugie) wrote,
Eugie Foster
eugie

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Da Vinci Code blows goat chunks

Wingstubs are better after a few days of enforced downtime. Amazing how that works. Had a lovely chat over coffee with yukinooruoni yesterday, and fosteronfilm and I went to an advance screening of The Da Vinci Code on Thursday.

The Da Vinci Code: Wow, did that suck. It sucked on a fundamental story level which made me go "this is what's been sparking all the controversy, death threats, and hunger strikes? THIS??" As a couple caveats, no, I haven't read the book (and it has now tumbled off those titles I've earmarked as "to read" and onto the blacklist of "I'd rather read the OED from A to Z") and we sat too close to the screen which resulted in pronounced feelings of nausea/motion sickness from all the jerky camera movement. I think fosteronfilm enjoyed it marginally better than I did; he had the advantage of not being nauseous through most of the movie. But he and I are in agreement on the figurative it-was-pukeworthy elements.

Tom Hanks was particularly uninspiring in the lead role, the movie pulled any punches it might have been able to level at the Catholic church or religion in general, the story was chock full of plot devices and deus ex machinae, the big, shocking reveal was lame to the lamest power (Dogma did it way better and far more entertainingly) and the ending went on and on and on. Also, the jerky camera technique, in addition to making me physically ill, also made me want to shout at the cinematographer "pull back you ninny!" The action was too close and too fragmented, so it wasn't even an enjoyable suspense/thriller/adventure flick.

In short, the movie blew goat chunks.

Don't waste your money on this one, folks. Rent or re-watch Dogma instead.

   

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