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The countdown is upon me

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So, for those of you who didn't know (old news for some of you), I'm a telecommuter, and my place of employment decided to recall me to the home office. The home office is in Illinois; I'm happily situated in Georgia, ergo, I'm terminating from the company. My last day is Monday. I've been with this company for nearly eleven years, but I knew this possibility was looming as they've been re-evaluating their telecommuter program. Remote workers across the country have been dropping like those plastic ducks at shooting galleries. Yep. I have joined the ranks of plastic duckhood.

It's been a stressful week. I've been packing up and carting off over a decade's worth of desk detritus in measured increments. There was some catharsis and glee, dumping out thick binders full of documentation and specs that I will no longer have to look at or lug around with me ever again. But I felt far more distressed, punctuated by surreal, than I thought I was going to. It's not like I loved my job or anything. It was a soul-sucking, occasionally-distracting foray into corporate America that paid me well. I got no joy, no true sense of accomplishment or satisfaction from it; which is a pretty sad statement to make about ten-plus years of servitude.

I'm looking forward to having the chance to focus more on my writing and publishing efforts. Hoping I can find a way to make a living from it before our savings and/or health coverage runs out. If not (I fully realize how stacked the odds are against me), I suspect I can go back into IT or find something else.

The thing is, I didn't realize how stressed I was about this until I started experiencing a slew of minor aches and pains--persistent headache, soreness across my shoulders and back, fatigue. You'd think someone with a Master's in Psychology would have figured it out sooner, wouldn't you? So yeah, though I hadn't expected to be dismayed by the situation since I've had so much time (over a year) to come to grips with it, I'm wide-eyed and trembly about this major life change.

Once I realized this, of course, I felt better immediately. Matthew and I went out to see Constantine and I've been downing the caffeine and OTC analgesics--therapy and meds for under $20. I feel better, optimistic again. I'll see about applying for unemployment next week, and getting my COBRA ducks in a row (oh no, more ducks!).

And best of all, I think my muse may be ready to emerge from her extended absence.

So, I'm okay.
I'm feeling:
okay okay
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On February 24th, 2005 06:13 am (UTC), amokk commented:
Illinois, Psychology and Constantine. Great post. ;)


Life is transitions. But I don't even have my Bachelor's in psych yet, you should know everything I'd tell you at this point. ;)
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On February 24th, 2005 02:19 pm (UTC), aimeempayne commented:
I'm sorry you have to deal with such a big change.

I'm looking forward to having the chance to focus more on my writing and publishing efforts.

The great thing about being a writer is our true work goes where we do.

What did you think about Constantine?
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On February 24th, 2005 03:13 pm (UTC), gardenwaltz commented:
congratulations. i am always all for leaving the corporate treadmill. i hope the very best for your escape attempt from the office life. if it helps to reduce stress, you might be able to work the occasional parttime gig to lessen the financial pressures.
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On February 24th, 2005 03:47 pm (UTC), kittymel commented:
So sorry to hear about this - I know that this has to be VERY very stressful.

I am hoping good things come your way soon!
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On February 24th, 2005 04:49 pm (UTC), quiller77 commented:
Even good changes can be stressful -- and I hope this one turns out to be a good one for you. May you write reams ... and get it published, of course.
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