May 22nd, 2006


Tosca & Dad-in-law

Had a lovely afternoon with dire_epiphany, astralfire, and their son at the Atlanta Opera yesterday. Tosca is quite a violent and action-packed opera: jealousy, torture, threatened rape, murder, and suicide. Although I have to admit, plebeian that it makes me, I liked having the subtitles. It made it more accessible for those of us who don't speak Italian and who aren't sophisticated opera buffs.

Got home and fosteronfilm received a call from his mom. She and his brother took his dad to the hospital; seems he wasn't doing well--couldn't breathe, had no energy, and no appetite. His GP (a doctor I've been underwhelmed with from what I've heard about him) told Matthew's mom that this was it; there was nothing else they could do and not to expect him to pull through this time. But one of his specialists--I'm not sure which one, lung or heart--seemed to think there was more to try. They put in a stint and a temporary (?) pacemaker, but my dad-in-law stopped being responsive while Mom-in-law was there. She had to go home, and after she left, he had some sort of crash that resulted in them putting him on a respirator. Dad-in-law has a living will that stipulates that he doesn't want to be left on a respirator, but it sounds like he doesn't have a DNR. Seems the hospital tried to contact Mom-in-law when he crashed to ask her what they should do, and when they couldn't reach her, they went ahead and put him on it.

All-in-all, the situation is exceedingly grim. fosteronfilm and I will be going up there probably either later today or tomorrow. We're both expecting this to be our farewell to his dad.

I'm a little more stoic than I thought I'd be right now. I haven't had a melt down like I did in March. I'd like to think it means that I'll be able to be the strength and support Matthew and his family will need at this time, but I suspect it's more likely that I'll just break down when I see my dad-in-law, as my track record on that front has been resoundingly unstalwart.

My dearest wish would be to never have to say goodbye to someone I love.
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