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Eugie · Foster's · Self-Indulgent · Musings


Biopsy on Wednesday: Formality Mostly

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We’ve got an appointment this Wednesday to do a biopsy on the tumor, but the hopes I had that the PET scan results would turn out to be a false positive have been diminishing until they are essentially nil.

The swelling at the tumor site has noticeably increased in the short time since the PET scan, and even more telling, the pain from last year is back. It’s a very distinctive pain, unlike anything I’ve felt before all this. It’s unmistakable as anything else but a fast-growing mass pushing aside things in my head that really aren’t happy about being shoved aside. I’m back to taking daily painkillers, beginning to ramp up the doseages. And I remember why I was in such a hurry to begin chemotherapy, knowing it would be its own hell of sickness, weakness, and pain.

This thing growing in my head is aggressive. It’s scary-fast how quickly it has advanced already. Re-advanced. And now I just want to start knocking it back again, as soon as possible, before it takes back the hearing and breathing it stole from me back in September, before I lose any more ground to it. Even though I know that whatever our next treatment steps are going to be, they’ll be more brutal than what I’ve already gone through.

Originally published at EugieFoster.com. You can comment here or there.

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On March 31st, 2014 12:36 pm (UTC), yendi commented:
*hugs* Sending all the good thoughts I can your way.
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On March 31st, 2014 06:44 pm (UTC), eugie replied:
Thank you. *hugs*
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On March 31st, 2014 02:18 pm (UTC), samhenderson commented:
Oh Eugie. All the hugs.
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On March 31st, 2014 06:44 pm (UTC), eugie replied:
*huggins*
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On March 31st, 2014 02:33 pm (UTC), amysisson commented:
I had so hoped you'd have received better news by now. Please don't hesitate to ask for help from your virtual friends/family if there is anything that would help take some stress off, so you can concentrate on what you need to do. Many hugs and good thoughts!
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On March 31st, 2014 06:50 pm (UTC), eugie replied:
Thank you, sweetie. *hugs*
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On March 31st, 2014 06:50 pm (UTC), eugie replied:
Thank you.
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On March 31st, 2014 04:13 pm (UTC), vaughan_stanger commented:
You're in my thoughts, Eugie, and in those of loads of other folks too. Hang in there.
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On March 31st, 2014 06:50 pm (UTC), eugie replied:
Hanging in there. Definitely.
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On March 31st, 2014 05:18 pm (UTC), jaylake commented:
I am sorry.

Let me know if it would be useful to you to talk about NIH and clinical trials. jlake(a)jlake.com.
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On March 31st, 2014 06:49 pm (UTC), eugie replied:
Thanks, Jay. I've been doing some clinical trials research already. My oncologist mentioned high-dose chemo and stem cell transplant as potential second-line treatment. I expect a more in-depth discussion after the biopsy results come in. Definitely keeping clinical trials on the list of options and things to discuss.
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On March 31st, 2014 07:51 pm (UTC), jaylake replied:
Call me at some point if the discussion gets serious? Being in the middle of this myself right now, I have a few internal-to-the-patient items to pass on for your consideration, and actually a voice call might be best. Just write me for the number if you're interested.
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On March 31st, 2014 07:57 pm (UTC), eugie replied:
I've been avidly following your NIH trial experience on your blog. I will definitely contact you should the clinical trial option gain rungs on the "next steps" ladder. *hugs* Thank you.
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On March 31st, 2014 05:31 pm (UTC), threeoutside commented:
AW, crap, honey. I'm so sorry to hear this. You're so brave and such a fighter. I'm thinking about you every day. Hang in there!
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On March 31st, 2014 06:51 pm (UTC), eugie replied:
Thanks, sweetie. *hugs*
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On March 31st, 2014 06:51 pm (UTC), wolflady26 commented:
I'm so sorry, and I'm sending you best wishes!
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On March 31st, 2014 06:51 pm (UTC), eugie replied:
Very much appreciated.
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On March 31st, 2014 07:46 pm (UTC), coronalrain commented:

wishing you lots of luck

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On March 31st, 2014 07:49 pm (UTC), eugie replied:
Thanks, sweetie.
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On March 31st, 2014 10:45 pm (UTC), kenakeri commented:
Sending good thoughts and prayers your way.
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On April 1st, 2014 04:32 am (UTC), jmward14 commented:
Sending good thoughts, wishes and prayers. And hugs. Lots of cyber hugs.
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On April 2nd, 2014 11:51 pm (UTC), jennyblackford commented:
So sorry to hear this. Hugs and hope.
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